Novelism
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

Human Nature (PG)

3 posters

Go down

Human Nature (PG) Empty Human Nature (PG)

Post by Teh Wozzinator Thu Mar 06, 2008 11:20 pm

HUMAN NATURE

I stand at the corner
Of Adams and Eighth,
And weep at the wreckage
Of this once beautiful place.

Oh, how humanity has destroyed.
How time has taken its toll.
Once a forest, a meadow…
Now with buildings it is full.

I'm surrounded by rundown houses
With mold clinging to the walls.
Why have we put these things here
When once great trees stood tall?

And ugly metal mountains,
Factories bulge from the ground.
They burn up their own landscape
As once, there, a forest could be found.

A black ghost of destruction
Smoke fills the sky.
And underneath the interstate bridge
A polluted river trickles by.

And as time still flies by,
It may be near its worst.
Nature is destroyed so we get what we want,
But then for more and more we thirst.

Without a second glance
It’s trampled underfoot.
We crush the homes of many creatures;
Trees are metal buildings next you look.

As we humans move along
Animals move onto the streets.
It seems that from our selfish acts
We are more the beasts.

Our lives get so much easier
But it makes the earth so much worse.
Living beings are secondhand
Convenience and technology come first.

And they call it human nature.
Teh Wozzinator
Teh Wozzinator
Admin
Admin

Male
Number of posts : 341
Age : 29
Location : Colorado, USA
Humor : Hahahahaha!! Omigosh, you are AWESOME!! Wait, why do I feel like I answered this wrong????
Registration date : 2008-03-03

Back to top Go down

Human Nature (PG) Empty Re: Human Nature (PG)

Post by bigbadbear Fri Mar 07, 2008 3:55 am

Wozzel,

Great job here. I really like how you have explained in detail our impact on the forests of the earth. I agree with you. Forests are so much more beautiful than cities. This is a very touching piece of literature.

Why have we put these things here
When once great trees stood tall?

I would change 'when' to 'where' because... just because. Smile

Trees are metal buildings next you look.

I don't like this line very much because 1) Repetitive 2) Too many words and 3) it doesn't flow.

Otherwise, this was a great poem! Keep posting!

-Jared
bigbadbear
bigbadbear
Writer
Writer

Male
Number of posts : 54
Age : 30
Location : USA
Humor : Humor? What?
Registration date : 2008-03-03

http://www.jpstories.scriptmania.com

Back to top Go down

Human Nature (PG) Empty Re: Human Nature (PG)

Post by GuardianAngel Sun Mar 09, 2008 10:42 pm

This poem has a deep meaning. Thats what I like aobut it most. I like how you use parallism, between nature and machine. It's very good. Smile

GuardianAngel
Writer
Writer

Female
Number of posts : 79
Age : 30
Location : Crying in the corner, hoping no one will pick on my depressed emo self.
Humor : I betcha I'm cuter than you!
Registration date : 2008-03-08

http://www.kelseygriswold.com

Back to top Go down

Human Nature (PG) Empty Re: Human Nature (PG)

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum