Milkman! (PG)

MILKMAN

“Milkman!” He turned round, to see a tall figure, wearing a dark red T-shirt running towards him, carrying a rolled up newspaper. Milkman flinched a little before responding.

“Postman… We meet again,” said Milkman, who stood with his dark blue cap, dark blue shirt, and generally dark blue everything else, narrowed his eyes upon the towering figure. Postman’s shadow disappeared into the black alley, as he moved towards Milkman tightening his grip on the paper.

“Bend over, I’m goanna stick this newspaper in your letterbox…”

“Let’s not be rash, put it down. Now.”

Postman roared with laughter, and only raised his fist higher yet.

“You asked for this,” murmured Milkman. His hands disappeared into his luminous blue cape and produced a large, glass, bottle. It shimmered under the cold street lights as he clenched it between both eager and waiting hands.

Like a lightning bolt, Postman leapt past Milkman and hurdled himself into the deserted street. Silently his cape billowed in the wind.

“One step closer and I’ll call Policeman.”

Postman whimpered a little and dropped the newspaper. “You wouldn’t dare!”

Now, it was Milkman’s turn to laugh. He gave a weak chortle, and clicked his fingers. The tarmac began to tremor violently under Postman’s feet. “What are you doing?” he cried, “what’s that?”

Suddenly, something flickered in front of Milkman’s eyes. “Remember Bessie? You tortured her and fed her with second rate nuclear waste!”

“I—but—what the!”

Bessie, the radioactive cow burst into the streets, and hit Postman with a bang. He tumbled down and crashed into the drainpipe. Milkman looked up just in time, to see Postman scurry off into the nearby alleyway, tail between his legs.

Smiling jovially, he moved over towards Bessie. Her skin gave off a bright green glow, and her fluorescent emerald eyes sparkled as they locked upon Milkman. One year to day that she bit him, and turned him from your local milkman; weird old men with dodgy vans, to Milkman; young and small with a speedy 20 mph Milk-mobile. Then, he met Postman. How he had obtained his mighty powers, no-one knows. Only Businessman, high up in the executive char in the sky.

Thus began the Milk-Post war, and the war of the roses (when they threw chocolates.)

Hahah. That was funny/random and fun to read.

Anyway, it was strange. I don't know what to think of it. I got really lost right after he said, "I'll call the Policeman." Yeah.

What I would suggest, but you probably don't have to do because this is a short funny/random story, is to add more detail of where they are. Because, currently, I don't get it. Description = everything.

So, good luck. Post more, please!

-Jared

...o.O... Not quite sure what that was all about. I have a feeling I missed something...

Thats funny!

I reviewed this on YWS, but I just wanted to say again...

I absolutely loved the radioactive cow. XD

This was very funny, although it got a little bit boring at the start.

But I loved the ending.

Keep writing!! (Sorry, I know this isn't the best crit, but if you want I can copy my critique from YWS over to here.)

Jamon

Hehe! Ye, just a random thing I threw together.

Thanks for the comments.

*Blinks* That is one of the most random things I've ever read! XD


Nice story Mark,
Firearris